The only cookbook in the world
with just one recipe !!
I am Linda A. Massey
And this is my first web site.
I have no idea what I’m doing.
But I have a book to sell and I thought a web site might help.
Here is my book.
One collectible, unique cookbook
that you will actually use !
Please buy it !
Just like this web site, I didn’t know what I was doing when I compiled my book, but I got it done, and here it is.
5 ingredients – no waiting
This is me
30 years ago
I want to thank all the friends, neighbors and acquaintances who were my involuntary taste-testers at pot-lucks and club meetings. You know who you are.
You can buy my book online at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and Books A Million.
Buy my book.
You need my book.
Every time you eat a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake you will thank me.
Every time you share a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake you will thank me.
Every time one of your friends or relatives buys my book I will thank you
Every time you buy another copy to be a gift for someone I will thank you.
The holidays are coming up.
Some holiday is always coming up.
Don’t worry about your bathroom scale, you can walk more.
How is my web page doing so far ?
Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the scale.
Is this too amateurish ?
It is basically a nine page WORD document.
This is a very easy cake to make.
This is a very delicious cake to eat.
If you like variety like I do, you will appreciate all the different versions of the cake you can make.
I think this will be a very collectable cookbook to own.
After all, how many cookbooks have just one recipe ?
Don’t look that up, I don’t want to know.
Is this what is called “The Hard Sell” ?
How can I sell a cookbook with just one recipe ?? I can’t very well give you a sample recipe if there is just one.
Maybe I could add a little history.
Until I looked it up I had no idea that Gooey Buttercakes were so popular throughout history.
Famous people loved to eat Gooey Buttercakes.
They were mentioned in movies.
They were mentioned in fairy tales.
They were mentioned in songs.
They are mentioned in history books.
Until now you just never noticed.
I know these quotes are true because I found them on the internet – and everything you find on the internet is true.
Please do not fact-check the previous statement.
Katharine Hepburn quote (not fact-checked): “Just like calla lilies, Linda’s Gooey Buttercakes are suitable for any occasion.”
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a cake with lots of frosting, I give a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
Rhett Butler (Clark Gable)
“Stella ! Stella !! I want a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !”
Stanley Kowalsky (Marlon Brando)
“It was the best of times, it was the time to eat a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
A Tale Of Two Cities
To err is human, but you can’t make a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake wrong.”
There never was a good war or a bad Gooey Buttercake.
You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but what’s that got to do with Linda’s Gooey Buttercakes ?
Never leave till tomorrow the Linda’s Gooey Buttercake you can eat today.”
“Give me liberty or give me a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
Why don't you come up sometime 'n see me ? And bring a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !
Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into! We should have made a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake instead !"
Oliver Hardy to Stan Laurel
Gooey, my dear Watson.
Last word of Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles)
Here's looking at you, kid. You’ve got some Linda’s Gooey Buttercake on your nose.
Rick Blaine in Casablanca (Humphrey Bogart)
"Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night. We’re all out of Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
Margo Channing (Bette Davis)
“Is that a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake in your pocket or are you just glad to see me ?”
Buttercake. Gooey Buttercake.
James Bond (Sean Connery)
"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me, aren't you? With that Linda’s Gooey Buttercake ?"
Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman)
"Take your stinkin' paws off me, you damned dirty ape, and grab a piece of Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !"
George Taylor (Charlton Heston)
"Open the pod bay doors, HAL. That’s where I hid my Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
Dave Bowman (Keir Dullea) 2001: A Space Odyssey
Love means never having to say you're out of Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
Jenny Cavalieri (Ali McGraw)
"I'm gonna make him a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake he can't refuse."
Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando)
"Linda’s Gooey Buttercake isn’t people !!!"
Detective Thorn (Charlton Heston)
'I'm as mad as hell, and I want a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !
Howard Beale (Peter Finch)
The Force will be with you, always. If not, a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake will do"
Obi-Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness)
"I love the smell of Linda’s Gooey Buttercake in the morning.
Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore (Robert Duvall)
Go ahead, make my Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
Lt. "Dirty" Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood)
"I'll be back, with a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger)
"Linda’s Gooey Buttercake goes pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)
"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans, a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake and a nice Chianti."
Dr. Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins)
"My Mama always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get. But I’d rather have a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.'
Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)
"Houston, we have a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake."
Astronaut Jim Lovell
"Show me the Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !"
Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding, Jr.)
"I see Gooey Buttercake people."
Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment)
“I regret that I have only 99 gooey buttercakes to give for my country.”
“Let there be Linda’s Gooey Buttercakes !”
“Grandma, what a big gooey buttercake you have !”
Little Red Riding Hood
“Rapunzel, let down your gooey buttercake !”
“Fee Fie Foe Fum, I smell a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake !”
“I got gooey buttercakes babe.”
Sonny and Cher
“You ain’t nothin’ but a gooey buttercake.”
“I can’t get no - gooey buttercake.”
“There ain’t nothin’ like a gooey buttercake.”
“These are a few of my favorite gooey buttercakes.”
“Let them eat Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
“Please don’t squeeze the gooey buttercake.”
“I’ve got you now my pretty, and your little gooey buttercake too !”
Wicked Witch (of the west)
“When the moon hits your eye like a big gooey buttercake.”
“How much is that gooey buttercake in the window ?”
“Gooey buttercakes are a girl’s best friend.”
“I wish I were a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
(that was a surprise)
“Some enchanted evening
You may see a gooey buttercake
Across a crowded room.”
"When the going gets tough, the tough get a gooey buttercake."
"People who live in glass houses should not throw gooey buttercakes."
"Keep your friends close and your gooey buttercakes closer."
"Practice makes the perfect gooey buttercake."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you gooey buttercake."
"Good things come to those who bake gooey buttercakes."
"Don't put all your eggs in one gooey buttercake."
“Speak softly and carry a big gooey buttercake.”
“When life hands you lemons, make a lemon gooey buttercake.”
“Et two Brutus ?”
“You can only count on two things in life – death and taxes. Oh ! And Linda’s Gooey Buttercake ! That makes three.”
“All that glitters is not golden, sometimes its chocolate – gooey buttercake.”
“All the world loves a gooey buttercake.”
“Beware of Greeks bearing gifts, unless it’s a gooey buttercake.”
“Good gooey buttercakes make good neighbors.”
“The only good gooey buttercake is a Linda’s Gooey Buttercake.”
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single Gooey Buttercake.”
“Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
All mimsy were the borogroves, and the gooey buttercakes were delicious.”
“The best is yet to come, and it smells like a gooey buttercake.”
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you’d probably like to have a gooey buttercake.”
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
"You can't make a silk purse out of a gooey buttercake.”
“Laughter is the best medicine – if you’re out of gooey buttercake.”
Harry Ward Beecher
"All good gooey buttercakes must come to an end."
"If you can't beat 'em, make 'em a gooey buttercake."
"Man shall not live by bread alone, he also needs a gooey buttercake."
“Quoth the raven – gooey – more.”
"You can't judge a book by its cover, unless it’s ‘Linda’s Gooey Buttercake – The only Cookbook In the World With Just One Recipe’."
Thank you for reading all of this.
If you know of any other quotes about gooey buttercakes you can send them to firstname.lastname@example.org
Please tell everyone you know about gooey99.com
What’s the name of my book ??
Buy my book.
It took 40 years for me to see my book in print. You might have a book running around in your head too. A novel, a children’s book, an autobiography, a family history. The people at Peppertree Press could help you too.
As long as I have a web page
I might as well add some of my photos.
Guess what this is.
Buy my book !
But Wait !!!
While you were reading this page, I'll bet you didn't notice that I was capturing your image. Maybe you can find yourself here.
Surely this has got to be the most delicious cake in the world !
Yes, it's from the Linda's Gooey Buttercake Cookbook.
And don't call me Shirley.
Little piece of fun
Yum yum yum
Come Back To See The Additions
And Please Tell All Your Friends
On Facebook And Twitter About
Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
I think we're in St. Louis.
That's a yellow gooey buttercake in front of us.
And I'm getting the munchkins.....
I mean munchies !
The Holidays Are Coming !! HO ! HO ! HO !
You need STOCKING STUFFERS !!!
Do you need imaginative gifts for your co-workers ?
Volunteer groups ?
Host/Hostess gifts ?
Secret Santas ?
Keep a stash of them in a drawer
for unexpected guests.